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February 22, 2006

Things you learn by traveling

—Keep your toothbrush zipped up and away and not out on the sink, as that roach the size of your index finger likely was sucking on it right before you discovered him in your toilet kit.

—No, you can't move faster than a roach the size of your index finger when it's a manual flush toilet and a good flush takes three bowls of water. But thanks for playing.

—The big 5-gallon tin with the mermaids on it is linseed oil for the boats, the plain green label tin is the paint thinner. The red label tin and purple label tins also are paint thinner, but it's the kind that burns like hell if you try to use it on your hands.

—No matter what color thinner you use, your fingernails will still be blue for the entire rest of the trip.

—Unwrap the extension cord before plugging it in, or you could get zapped.

—"Mai sai het kaa" means, please no mushrooms.

—When you discover that the entire world is the same and even in another language you have to argue with the server about the value of mushrooms in a given meal, the follow-up phrases are "gin mai dai" (cannot eat) and "bin paa" (allergic).

—If you don't use a towel to squeeze water out of the capilene underwear and socks before air-drying it in humid weather, they will smell like a small mammal crawled into the fibers, killed a skunk in spite, and the two of them died together there.

Posted by sedda at February 22, 2006 06:31 PM